It’s been a hard first summer for Boris…

It’s been a hard first summer for Boris…

I’ve been asked by a couple readers how my battle with the County went regarding the “Casual Profanity” rule, and whether I followed through with my plan to protest the enforcement of such an obviously unlawful rule.
Each year for the tournament, the County issues revised rules (removing the 7-run limit per inning, for example, and other rules to enhance the tournament experience). This year, the revised rules made no mention whatsoever of a “Casual Profanity” rule.
So the rule never came up, was never mentioned, and played no part in the tournament. As far as I was concerned, I was free to concentrate on playing softball.
Was this a victory for Free Speech? Did the County not include the rule because of my letter of protest? Is this the last we will see of the “Casual Profanity” rule?
I don’t know. The answers will come, I suppose, next year when the softball league starts up again.
For the time being, I’ll consider it a victory.
What a weekend! Our team went undefeated in the End-of-Season tournament, winning three games via the mercy-rule (any team that leads by 10 or more points after 5 innings is declared the winner).
The final championship game was a real nail-biter. The lead changed hands a couple times, and our defense kept us in it the whole way. We finally pulled away in the top of the seventh with an eight point lead. They scored 3 more runs in the bottom of the seventh, but we ended the threat with a game-ending double play and winning it all, 23-18.
Our offense was amazing. Everyone was on top of their game at the plate. We worked the count, and got the hits we needed to keep our rallies going. I love this team!
To make the weekend even more magical, we had our very own Elvis siting!

We encountered The King at (the appropriately named) Legends Sports Bar after our games on Saturday. He was kind enough to pose for a picture, and chatted with us for a few minutes. He’s part of a tribute band called Elvis and the Rustabouts, and judging by the music on their website, he’s pretty darn good. In addition, his name really is Elvis. He was a very nice guy, and I’ll bet he puts on a great show.
A softball championship, and an audience with The King. That was my weekend. How was yours?
I imagine that lots of people would shake their heads at my crusade to repeal the “Casual Profanity” rule in the Spokane County Parks and Rec adult softball league. It seems pretty trivial, after all. What’s the big deal about curbing my language for a couple hours once or twice a week? Am I such a prolific and uncontrollable cuss that I can’t control my tongue for such a brief period of time?
Well, the answer is actually quite easy. The reason I’m taking on this little fight is:
Look, I’m not a big cusser, but occasionally I do let fly a colorful adjective, as is my right as a mature adult. I was happy to grant the government power over my speech for four years, because in most cases the power was not used, or used sparingly. But that power has been abused, and so now it must be taken away.
Once we realize that the government is really only interested in exercising power, the better off we all will be. Sure, some uses of that power are justified, and necessary, but there are way too many areas in which we have wrongly handed over our freedom to government in the interest of safety, security, or a cuss-free softball game.
It’s got to stop somewhere, don’t you think?
In a similar vein, John Stossel, writing for Reason.com notes that among some of the things at which government excels, lately it seems the most pervasive seems to be attacks on freedom.
Something’s happened to America, and it isn’t good. It’s become easier to get into trouble. We’ve become a nation of a million rules. Not the kind of bottom-up rules that people generate through voluntary associations. Those are fine. I mean imposed, top-down rules formed in the brains of meddling bureaucrats who think they know better than we how to manage our lives.
So maybe I’m making a big deal about cuss words and softball, but then again, perhaps we all should ask ourselves, “What freedom will we be losing next?”
I think in light of that, the question “Why fight to cuss?” pretty much answers itself.
Interesting ruling yesterday by the 2nd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals, especially in light of my fight against the Spokane County Parks & Rec Softball “Casual Profanity” rule.
An occasional curse word or even Janet Jackson’s infamous "wardrobe malfunction" on prime-time TV shouldn’t bring down the wrath of the Federal Communications Commission, a federal court ruled Tuesday.
While the specifics aren’t the same, and the situation is different for broadcasters as opposed to just us regular folk – in fact, it’s generally more restrictive for broadcasters – there are, nevertheless, some very interesting parallels in the opinion of the court.
Among the commonalities is the opinion that the FCC rule on language was “unconstitutionally vague, creating a chilling effect that goes far beyond the fleeting expletives at issue”. Sounds almost like a rule that gives umpires broad authority to arbitrarily declare virtually any word off-limits.
I just heard back from the County regarding their violation of players’ First Amendment rights detailed below. My letter has been forwarded to the Legal Department for feedback, and they will eventually get back to me.
That’s great, although I’m still proceeding with my plan to disregard the rule in the coming tournament.
What’s more important, softball or free speech?
That’s the question I’ve been forced to confront.
It’s a strange question, to be sure. But recently I’ve been made aware that our local government is violating our First Amendment rights every time we gather to play Rec-League softball, a situation which prompted the odd query above.
So how does free speech relate to softball?
A few years back, there was some complaining about excessive cussing during softball games in the Spokane County Parks and Recreation leagues. As a result, a new rule was adopted, the “Casual Profanity” rule, which was worded as follows:
“Umpire will make ruling on inappropriate use of profanity”
In practice, what this meant was that the umpire would exercise sole discretion to decide if we softball players were being potty-mouths, and would assess punishments for any offenses. The punishments ranged from warnings and/or loss of outs, all the way up to ejections and/or loss of games. I’m not sure, but I think this rule came into effect about five years ago.
For the most part, everyone complied. Occasionally there would be a warning issued, but not much more. As far as I can remember, no one was ever ejected, though swearing did continue, though often a bit quieter and under our breath. The umpires appeared largely unconcerned with our language, with one or two exceptions.
Recently, those exceptions have become far more alarming and intrusive to the game.
A couple weeks ago, an umpire assessed (for the first time in my memory) an extra out on an opposing team because a player said “shit!”. The player in question didn’t even shout the word, she merely uttered it in shock after being caught off base. The umpire then threatened ejection for any further outbursts.
I thought that was a bit extreme, and grumbled a bit about it, but figured it was an isolated incident. Boy, was I wrong.
Last Friday, a different umpire, while meeting with the coaches prior to the game told both coaches that he would not tolerate any profanity, and he listed a few examples to convey his intent. The examples he used showed exactly how far he was taking the “casual profanity” rule. He said:
- Any use of the “F-bomb” would earn immediate ejection.
- First use of the word “Crap” would earn a warning. Second use of “Crap” would earn ejection.
- Any “taking the Lord’s name in vain” would earn ejection.
At that time, the coach for the other team strongly objected, but her objections were disregarded by the umpire. Once the rest of us heard of the “rules” we were all in agreement that they were completely arbitrary and unfair. But we wanted to play softball (and none of us are lawyers). So we fell into line under the stated speech restrictions.
Crap! Crap?! Yes. Crap! A word we hear in G-Rated movies is unacceptable in an adult softball league.
That sure lit a fire under me, let me tell you.
While my previous answer to the question “Free speech or softball” would have been “Softball!”, mainly because it didn’t appear to be that much of a problem for me to curb my “crappy” tongue, now my answer has definitely changed. I did some thinking; I consulted with a brilliant young lawyer (who also happened to be my daughter); and I did a bit of research.
Now I realize just how wrong I was to accept the “Casual Profanity” rule.
In point of fact, the county government has absolutely no right or authority to censor anyone’s speech, even when they are participating in a county organized and run softball league, and especially in public parks. Such a rule amounts to a violation of our First Amendment rights to free expression.
I probably still wouldn’t have objected to the rule myself, but the above examples of over-the-top umpire interpretations forced me to act. Now I’ve committed myself to getting this rule removed from the Spokane County Parks and Rec softball rules.
This weekend is the annual End of Season Tournament, and I’m going take the following action:
Some might think it’s such a small thing to control one’s tongue, so why make such a big deal about it?
The answer is simple. Last week, it was the F-bomb. Yesterday it was “shit”. Today it’s “crap”. What will it be tomorrow? When will it end? The incremental loss of liberties is an ongoing problem in this country; I have chosen to draw my line in the sand right here, in this little corner of the universe. I’m not asking for much, just the freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
I look forward to the End of Season Tournament every year, and this year is no exception. We’ve got a great team with a super chance of winning it all. I’d love to make that happen.
But these days, for me at least, there are some things that are more important than softball.
The First Amendment, for starters.
UPDATES:
Those who know me are aware of my love for Jimmy Buffett’s music. Part of the difficulty of being a fan of Mr. Buffett is that, as gifted as he is in crafting catchy pop-tunes, he also has a gift for supreme inanity and amazingly stupid boneheaded remarks such as the following, regarding the Gulf oil spill:
"To me it was more about eight years of bad policy before Obama got there that let this happen. It was Dracula running the blood bank in terms of oil and leases," he said. "I think that has more to do with it than how the president reacted to it."
Forget that the government agency charged with overseeing offshore drilling pre-dates the Bush presidency by several decades; and nevermind that the lax oversight occurred well into the current administration’s term; and please ignore the fact that Bush had been out of office for fifteen frickin’ months before the explosion; and pay no mind to the two months of federal inaction, bureaucratic B.S., and empty posturing by Obama and his crew before substantive action was even considered.
Forget all that because it’s just easier (and less taxing to your addled brain) to blame everything on Bush.
Hey, Jimmy! Baby! Love the music, now please just shut up and sing.
It’s entirely unwise to make sweeping generalizations based on small sample sizes, but that’s never stopped me before, so here goes: I hate the weather this year – it’s the crappiest I can recall in my 21 years in the Spokane area. Last winter was mild to the point of nonexistence, and yet it refused to let go – all the way through May and June. The frost continued way past normal (in fact, I think it killed off our normally abundant crowd of hummingbirds – I usually have to refill the feeder every day, but it’s been full for three days straight). Now we find ourselves in the first week of July and the temperature has yet to crack 75°(F) for more than two days in a row.
I’m not a believer in the Religion of Gore (specifically, the one referencing human-caused global warming – as for the one referencing sex-crazed windbags and Portland masseuses, well, lets just say I’m keeping an open mind). I’m willing to accept that global temperatures vary on average, and that local climates can (and are continually) affected by human activity, but can humans affect the earth’s climate as a whole and are we doing so now? I remain skeptical on that.
In general, if I had the power to decide the Earth’s climatological future and had to choose only between warmer temperatures and cooler temperatures, I’d choose the former. Warmer temperatures mean longer summers, extended baseball seasons, and more bikinis. What’s not to like?
Unfortunately, if the past couple years are any indication, the trend is going the other way, and it’s making me grumpy.
A loooong time ago, when I was going to college and working nights as a janitor, I used to listen to Larry King on the radio as I drove home from work early in the morning. This was back in the early 80′s, and I enjoyed King’s interview style at the time. Back then, he was a good interviewer with a compelling radio voice.
Like many famous media folks, Larry King committed the unpardonable sin of sticking around far too long. He long ago became a parody of himself. Where he used to ask the penetrating questions, he instead now asked the silly, stupid, and inane ones. It seemed as if he gave up caring years ago and was only sticking around because the money was ridiculous.
The funniest thing to come out of Larry King’s show in the last decade or more was this skewering of King by Jerry Seinfeld.
It’s been 16 years since I bought my last truck. It’s been a good little pickup, but the time has come to send it to that great parking lot in the sky, or perhaps down the road with another owner, whichever comes first. At 16 years of age, it’s beginning to require more and more in the way of maintenance and general TLC. Also, with a 4-cylinder engine, it’s become apparent that there just isn’t enough power to haul all the stuff Mrs. Sigmadog buys and sells via her other business venture.
So, with that in mind, I recently began a search for a new truck.
As I began my search, I couldn’t help but be aware of the current trend towards hybrid vehicles. Frankly, the idea of saving money on gasoline is attractive, but I wasn’t sure I could find a hybrid-truck with enough power and traction to handle our hills in winter, in addition to having sufficient towing capacity. After some time spent searching, I was forced to concede that there simply aren’t any hybrid trucks out there which are affordable and also fit my requirements.
But that didn’t stop me from going green.
Here is my new 2010 Toyota Tacoma V6 4X4 (TRD Off-Road version). It’s got a 6-speed manual transmission, tons of cool features, and a towing capacity of 6500 lbs! I love it! And yeah, it’s green.

It’s amazing to me how things have changed in 16 years. The interior of this truck is comfortable like a car. The ride is so smooth and the engine so quiet I almost forget to shift. It’s a little bigger than my previous truck, but when I’m driving, it feels absolutely huge.
I’m still working on figuring out where the corners are, so for the time being, I’m avoiding parking lots as much as possible. You know how it is: you’ve got to drive for a while before you gain the situational awareness, and mental image of where the edges of the truck are. At some point, you become so attuned to the vehicle, it becomes an extension of you – that’s when you know you can whip into parking spaces easily. Well, I’m not there yet. Still too nervous. But I’ll be there soon.
As for my old truck, it’s a ’94 Nissan 4X4 SE King Cab with 155,000 miles. Not bad. Currently, it’s at the mechanics having the pilot-bearing replaced on the clutch (I couldn’t in good conscience sell it knowing that was going to go soon). So if you know anyone interested in a single-owner, low-mileage 16 year-old truck, send them my way.
Here’s a picture:

Really, this guy is… um… well… you just gotta see it for yourself.
If you like beer and freedom (and who doesn’t?), you’ll love this short Reason.tv video about the rise of the craft beer industry. It’s a tale of the success of individuals in the face of bland corporate giants, all spurred by government deregulation. Yay!
About four years ago, I had this idea to build a burger-review site that would serve as a convenient location for those searching for great non-franchise burgers all over the United States.
After talking it up for a year or two, I think my friends were getting a bit impatient, either for the site to become a reality, or for me to shut the hell up. So I shut the hell up and started researching how to go about building NationsBestBurgers.com.
It took a while, but it finally came together within the last year, and today I’m finally taking it live.
What really helped make the site a reality was the existence of Content Management Systems (CMS). These are open-source community website building tools (usually free) that help people like me with varying levels of coding expertise develop rich community sites. Of course, it’s easier said than done (and we’ll have to wait and see if NationsBestBurgers.com grows like I hope it will). In the case of my site, I chose Drupal, a very popular, very capable CMS, if a tricky one to work with for a non-coder.
To be honest, I’m still not sure I did everything using the latest best practices for Drupal. But the site appears to work, which is a good sign, even if the underlying code is, in places, stuck together with duct tape and chewing gum.
So if you like burgers, please visit NationsBestBurgers.com, join up, and contribute a review. I’m going to need all the help I can get to make that site a success.
It’s Draw Mohammed Day!

I like this song by Rodney Crowell, though the video isn’t all that great.
But they’re still pretty darn cool. I can think of lots of practical uses for a robot that can balance on a ball.
In the interest of brevity due to deadline crunch, here are some random thoughts and links.
I visit James Gurney’s blog on a daily basis. The author and illustrator of the Dinotopia series of books posts daily notes on art, painting, and daily happenings in his neck of the woods. Yesterday, he posted a charming video of a friendly duel between some farm animals near his home.
In this corner: Bo, the young bull. In that corner: Billy, the black goat and Lucky, the white goat. And offering between-rounds entertainment: Joy, the miniature donkey. Read the brief description, then scroll to the bottom for the video.
Iranian cleric: Women who wear revealing clothing cause earthquakes.
Women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes, a senior Iranian cleric has said.
Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi’s comments follow a warning by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit the capital Tehran and that many residents should relocate.
In a prayer sermon, the cleric said: “Many women who do not dress modestly… lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes.”
