Almost Daily
What makes me tick, and what ticks me off
News, views, opinions, and occasional fart jokes from SIGMA

A taste of November

August 30th, 2010

political cookiesBecause I’m getting older and everything of importance seems to involve eating, I thought I’d comment on current issues in a way that interests me; that is, by likening them to courses in a meal. In this analogy, the “meal” in question is the November election, and the dishes are ranked in terms of their relative importance.

Main Course:

Government spending. There is no doubt that government is spending way too much. On virtually every level, governments from local to federal are running deficits that will hamper, perhaps even prevent, future prosperity. To my mind, there is no other issue that even comes close to this; because it represents not only a loss of future financial strength and independence; but it also signals a drastic intrusion by government into the private lives of every citizen, with an accompanying loss of freedom. With every bailout and industry takeover, government comes closer to gaining total control of our healthcare, our mortgages, our money, the food we eat, and even our thoughts. The problem, then, goes beyond a simple desire for a fiscally responsibility government (a worthy goal in itself) and extends to a government bent on using it’s credit card to force behavior and destroy liberty. In the end, if this continues, we will lose not only our freedom, but our nation as well.

Side Dishes:

Unemployment. This is a big side-dish that could probably serve as a main course all by itself were it not for the fact that government’s role in employment is secondary next to the private sector. I am of the opinion that unemployment would have jumped with or without government intervention, given the state of the economy in 2008. The fact is that the government stimulus spending has done nothing to help employment levels, and it has probably delayed recovery by months if not years. If the government had stayed out of the stimulus, bailout, and economic recovery biz, I think unemployment might have spiked up higher for the short term, but would have recovered quicker. The trouble is that government tries to improve and manage the economy from the top down, when in fact real growth, real recovery, and real prosperity ALWAYS rises from the bottom up. Real job growth will only occur when the government creates an environment that is friendly to business, and demonstrates that it, too, knows how to control itself financially. That’s the only role that government has with regard to employment, and businesses won’t hire, won’t invest, and won’t grow unless and until they see proof that government understands this simple fact.

Afghanistan. When will it end? This is a side-dish that has been around too long and is long past it’s “consume by” date. Either win it now, or get the hell out.

One-party rule. The Republicans were in total control for a few years and managed to botch things up pretty well. Now that we know what happens when the Democrats are in total control, can we agree that neither party should be allowed to run things unopposed from now on? One-party rule is like mashed potatoes without gravy.

Garnish: Things that don’t really matter.

Ground-Zero Mosques. Who cares? There are so many important things to worry about that this issue is like the sprig of parsley next to the rib-eye. It’s a distraction that needs to be plucked off the plate and discarded.

Obama’s religion. This is the crouton on the salad. It’s just there for crunchiness. Frankly, if I wanted stale bread in my meal, I’d go to Subway. (Actually, I love Subway, and their bread is delicious; I just needed a bread analogy)

Dessert:

Saying goodbye Nancy Pelosi as Speaker. If it happens, it will be delicious. I will savor every moment of this delectible treat.

Welcome to the Indebted States of America

August 27th, 2010

Of course, we all know the Federal Government is spending money faster than they can print it, under the mistaken idea that we can spend our way out of recession. But another, woefully under-reported story is the amazing deficits being racked up by the states.

I’ve been looking around for a source on this story, and I’ve finally found a state by state, rundown of the problems faced by each and every state in our union. The information is located at the Daily Beast and is accompanied by lovely photos of each debtor state.

I haven’t had the opportunity to go through every page as yet, so I can’t say for sure that every state is in budget crisis, but I’m willing to bet that a majority are up to their capitol cupola’s in hock.

UPDATE: A nice visual aid:

Jimmy Buffett: Stupid-aritaville

July 9th, 2010

Those who know me are aware of my love for Jimmy Buffett’s music. Part of the difficulty of being a fan of Mr. Buffett is that, as gifted as he is in crafting catchy pop-tunes, he also has a gift for supreme inanity and amazingly stupid boneheaded remarks such as the following, regarding the Gulf oil spill:

"To me it was more about eight years of bad policy before Obama got there that let this happen. It was Dracula running the blood bank in terms of oil and leases," he said. "I think that has more to do with it than how the president reacted to it."

Forget that the government agency charged with overseeing offshore drilling pre-dates the Bush presidency by several decades; and nevermind that the lax oversight occurred well into the current administration’s term; and please ignore the fact that Bush had been out of office for fifteen frickin’ months before the explosion; and pay no mind to the two months of federal inaction, bureaucratic B.S., and empty posturing by Obama and his crew before substantive action was even considered.

Forget all that because it’s just easier (and less taxing to your addled brain) to blame everything on Bush.

Hey, Jimmy! Baby! Love the music, now please just shut up and sing.

The Wrong Stuff

July 5th, 2010

Just when you think the Obama administration can’t get things any more wrong…

This just in: NASA Chief’s Top Priority: Better Relations With Muslim World.

"When I became the NASA administrator — or before I became the NASA administrator — [Obama] charged me with three things. One was he wanted me to help re-inspire children to want to get into science and math, he wanted me to expand our international relationships, and third, and perhaps foremost, he wanted me to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with dominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science … and math and engineering," Bolden said in the interview.

So NASA’s brief is no longer about advancing the human spirit, nor is it about inspiring all humanity to reach beyond our petty differences for a common goal, and neither is it about increasing knowledge and making technological advances that benefit the whole world. No. It’s not about such petty, parochial concerns.

Under this administration, space exploration is all about sucking up to the world muslim community.

Unbelievable. Friggin’ unbelievable.

Here are some questions: Why can’t space exploration be about… SPACE EXPLORATION? When did that simple goal lose it’s appeal? And when did NASA become an arm of the State Department’s Outreach Program?

You know, I’ve always had respect for people who just did what they did, eventually excelling at a task through sheer determination and all-consuming focus, often with little or no consideration given to what others thought of their obsession. I think of the proverbial kid down the street who loved to tinker and think strange things, and mess around with funny ideas and junk; you know, the kid who grew up to be Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, or Steve Jobs.

That used to be the United States.

We were the ones that went about our business, solely consumed with our work, our particular specialty, and doing it better than anyone else; and our imagination, our innovations, and our infectious enthusiasm became the envy of the world. We were the ones who led by example. We were the self-made whiz kid that everyone followed, not because he encouraged them, but because they saw the brilliance in his ideas, and in that vision, they caught a glimmer of a better future in which they might play a part.

We used to be that person. But who are we now?

When the head of NASA is kissing the muslim’s butts, it’s clear we’ve become just another obsequious nitwit for whom popularity is more valuable than achievement. We’re the fat rich kid in the neighborhood who thinks he can sacrifice his lunch money to avoid getting pantsed, but who winds up at the end of the day still hungry, and with his underwear wrapped around his forehead, Atomic Wedgie-style.

Obama is that guy. He’s so desperate to be liked by the world that he has become the world’s laughingstock. He has been given an enormous gift in the office of the most powerful man in the world and yet his bumbling, obsequious, and fawning policies will not only cost us in national greatness, but will undoubtedly allow the rest of the world (who – surprise! – are not really our friends) to give us all a collective national wedgie.

Not since Jimmy Carter has there been a president more obviously in possession of the Wrong Stuff.

Politician, kick thine own..

June 15th, 2010

Brussels Spouts

May 25th, 2010

The sun is up. The day is new. And that can only mean another quotidian Biden moment:

It’s not unheard of for Vice President Biden to get lost in the moment, but during a speech earlier this month to the European Parliament his flattery of the host may have gone a bit overboard, ceding Washington, D.C.’s role as the world’s center of liberty.

The U.S. vice president, opening his address in Belgium, argued that Brussels — considering its rich history and abundance of international institutions — could well be the “capital of the free world.”

He suggested that Washington, D.C., his home, is undeserving of that title — notwithstanding its wealth of global organizations and the countless international summits that take place there.

“As you probably know, some American politicians and American journalists refer to Washington, D.C. as the ‘capital of the free world,’” Biden said. “But it seems to me that in this great city, which boasts 1,000 years of history and which serves as the capital of Belgium, the home of the European Union, and the headquarters for NATO, this city has its own legitimate claim to that title.”

Yeah, whenever there is trouble in Middle East, a hurricane in the Caribbean, a tsunami in Indonesia, or financial problems anywhere else, where does the free world turn? To Brussels, of course.

Our previous Vice President was known for shooting off his friend’s face. Our current Vice President is known for shooting off his own mouth. Which is worse? Well, Cheney’s friend only had one face, but Biden’s mouth is the gift that keeps on giving.

War Crimes

May 5th, 2010

I’m not a pot smoker. I’ve never used the stuff and I probably never will. And I admit that the intricacies and motivations behind government drug policy have not been the least bit fascinating to me, and that my interest in the subject has never been very great.

I am no longer indifferent to this subject.

Yesterday, I read about a dramatic, full-on SWAT Team raid on a house in Missouri in which government representatives, armed with a warrant and automatic weapons, busted into a private home, killed the family dog(s) in front of a seven year-old child, forced the father at gunpoint onto the floor and ransacked the residence. What did they find? Enough pot to charge the man with a misdemeanor.

When did the War on Drugs become the War on Common Sense? I ask that with complete sincerity, because by any reasonable measure the harsh and violent tactics, the destruction/killing of property, and violation of privacy conducted here and, apparently in similar raids across the nation, is far removed from what any rational, freedom-cherishing citizen would consider proportional to the crime.

It’s governmental abuses of the Fourth Amendment like this that place me firmly on the side of legalization.

Think I’m blowing things out of proportion? Perhaps you should watch the video. While you are watching, keep in mind that this was all done for a misdemeanor offense.

Thanks to Ideawave for alerting me to this story.

America the Beautiful Debtor

April 15th, 2010

Our government is out of control. Our elected officials are drunk with power. Every new day brings more and better evidence they are operating under astonishing delusions of grandeur. As a result of this malady, they seem determined to insinuate government into every aspect of our lives.

They have already to a large extent taken over the mortgage industry. They are also (to various lengths) in control of the automobile, banking, insurance, and health-care industries, and will soon (if they haven’t already – I confess my ignorance here) be jumping in to manage the investment, energy, and travel industries (even more than now).

Not content with controlling those major industries, our government also wants to micromanage the smallest, most mundane, and inconsequential details of our lives, all the way from stopping the airlines from charging for carryon baggage, to prohibiting Major League Baseball players from using chewing tobacco.

I’m talking the FEDERAL government. Not local or state governments. Think about that: The Federal Government wants to prevent free adults from using legal products, and stop private industries from charging for services. These are just two examples from the last couple days, and not at all unique.

Regardless of your feelings about certain airlines’ attempts to gouge travelers for money at every turn, the fact remains that in a supposedly free country operating under free-market principles, any company can legitimately charge for whatever service they provide, and users are free to not patronize those businesses who levy unreasonable fees. Similarly, no matter what you think of the demon-tobacco industry, chewing tobacco remains a legitimately legal product which any adult is free to purchase and use (even when chasing fly-balls or stepping up to the plate in the World Series).

The problem is one of power. When people are given (or take) power, eventually they will abuse that power. They will assert their “right” to control others when in reality that “right” is illegitimate and nothing more than an excuse to exercise dominance over our lives.

In short, they do it because they can.

This trait is completely bipartisan. I don’t think Republicans would be immune to the lure of such power were they in control. Indeed, they were in control for a time, and they succeeded in curtailing civil liberties, which they did in the interest of “security”. Democrats operate the same way, removing freedom, taking over private business, and confiscating more and more in taxes and property. They do so in the name of “fairness”. (I must confess to a preference here for the Republican side of the issue, however. Yet I think they have a tendency to go way too far.)

It seems, then, that we the people are stuck between two power-hungry parties seeking to dominate and rule our lives down to the very last detail. What can be done?

The answer is very simple. We only need to understand and follow The Constitution, and elect leaders who do the same. A return to the principles of limited government expressed in that document is the only way that we can survive as a nation. I cannot over-emphasize this point enough:

The very survival of our nation and the future of liberty hinges on a return to small and limited government.

The framers of the Constitution knew full well the tendency of power to corrupt. They were intimately familiar with abuses of power on behalf of, and indeed in the persons of, the government. They viewed government as a necessary evil, one that must be controlled and limited as much as humanly possible.

It has become clear to me that we as a country have strayed much too far from the limitations imposed on government in the Constitution. Local control has too often given way to federal control in return for resources, and in the process the states have become servants to the central government in all but name. As power has accumulated at the national level, the federal government has exercised more and more control over matters that were originally reserved solely to the states, so that now we are all slaves to the national government – a ruler that governs with capricious avarice and an ever increasing desire for more power and more control.

So rapacious has our national government become, that it can no longer even pretend to control itself. I refer here to the lies that slide so glibly off the tongues of those who say that our budget troubles can be solved by more spending and/or taxing of the rich. This is an outright lie. There is no way to solve our national debt WITHOUT CUTTING SPENDING. And I mean REAL cuts, not simply reductions in the increases of spending, or public relations pronouncements of “spending freezes” after running up the debt by trillions more.

We need to elect people willing to make cuts without mercy, so as to return us to that limited and small government. It will hurt, especially as beholden as we have all become upon the government dole. But it’s the only way our nation will survive.

Try as I might, it is hard not to fall into pessimism when I look at the current national political landscape. Our financial situation is dire; our entitlement programs are so bloated; and our current leaders so clearly inadequate to the task, that I honestly and sincerely fear for the future of the United States of America.

Buddy, can you spare some optimism?

April 12th, 2010

It’s been hard to give much thought to this blog for the last few weeks. It’s not that I don’t have things to say, or that there aren’t news stories out there to mock, or fart jokes to make. The truth is that there are countless things to write about, but just about every one of them makes me angry or depressed. There’s Obama; the economy; baseball (specifically the Mariners… ack!); Obama; government; socialism; the weather; Obama; the end of American greatness; health care; the ongoing loss of liberty; did I mention Obama?

What’s a fellow to do?

I went to a party last Friday and for a brief period of time (specifically, the amount of time it took for me to get stinking drunk and then sober up) I forgot all the trials of this troubled world and simply had a good time. On Saturday I paid the price for such inattention; but with the help of my favorite hangover food (a foot long from Subway) I eventually recovered. In hindsight, I don’t think drinking heavily is the answer, especially now that the evil geniuses (or morons, depending on your party affiliation) that run the State of Washington have seen fit to increase taxes on alcohol. Frankly, the thought that I’m helping solve Governor Gregoire’s budget problems with every drink is a real buzz-kill (new anti-beer-tax slogan: “They Tax: We Swallow” – well, maybe it needs a little work).

On Sunday, I went jogging and completed my ritual 2-mile ObamaCare evasion drill. Two-miles is about all my knees can handle these days, especially in cold weather. Once it warms a bit, I can probably stretch it to three-miles, at the most. I felt good after the run, and my canine companions (my Joggy-Doggies) were happy as well. I’m training Boris to stay by my left side, so I run with a snack in my left hand and him keeping pace, trying to pry my hand open. I give it to him after a dozen paces or so, then we do it all over again. By the end of the jog, I had Boris by my side for a whole lap. Then I forgot about his drool and wiped my head with my left hand. Ick. In the long run (pun intended) physical exertion is not the solution to my depressing outlook, although it helps for the short term.

There are so many things going wrong right now, it’s hard to point out the worst. Here’s my (incomplete) list, though I haven’t decided which depresses me the most.

  • The impossibility of balancing the government’s budget.
  • The irrelevance of the Constitution
  • The false belief that government intervention can make things better
  • The false hope that government intervention will make things better
  • The death of American Exceptionalism in the minds of so many Americans
  • How envy is now somehow more noble than greed
  • The amazing amount of freedom and liberty that has already been taken away without protest
  • How little we realize what we have lost as a nation by favoring security over freedom

I could go on, but what’s the point. Nobody will read this far anyway.

Tomorrow, stay tuned for more depressing news as I talk about the 2010 Mariners.

Hard times? I know! Let’s raise taxes!

March 26th, 2010

Matt Welch at Reason. com has today’s daily rundown of “We-Are-Out-of-Money” headlines.

Harry Reid is insane

March 5th, 2010

That’s about the only way one can rationalize 36,000 lost jobs as a good thing.

Welcome to the Idiocracy

February 4th, 2010

Heads up their buttReggie was riding shotgun as I went to get my vehicle emissions test today. But I was denied a test due to Reggie’s presence.

Reggie is a 10-year old border collie mix. Today happened to be “Going to the Dump” Day and she generally accompanies me to the Transfer Station after I load the truck with trash cans and recyclables. In addition to our monthly garbage ritual, I thought it would be good to take care of the emissions test as well, since it’s just down the road from the garbage facility.

As I pulled into the testing facility, I noticed the absence of any other vehicles waiting. There were three testing bays, and only one was open. A single car was finishing up and just pulling out as I pulled in.

“Sweet!” I thought, “This is gonna go real fast.”

As I pulled up to the single on-duty state-worker. I greeted him and asked him what he needed from me as far as paperwork and fees.

He said, “Well, we can’t test your vehicle while there is a dog inside.”

“Why is that?” I asked, “You don’t have to sit inside the vehicle, so why is she a problem?”

“Well, it’s just a rule that we have.”

“Why that rule?” I persisted.

“Well, it’s pretty quiet now, but with all the usual activity in here,” he said as he swept his arm around the completely deserted and quiet facility, “some pets might get panicked and jump out of the vehicles. It’s a danger.”

While he was weaving this splendid tale of bureaucratic, ass-covering bullshit. I looked at Reggie, who was sitting calmly in the passenger seat. She weighs about 50 pounds and on trips in the truck, she splits her time between a doggie-bed in the storage space behind the seats, and the passenger seat where she can get a good view of the world passing by, and occasionally sample the smells by sticking her nose out the window that I leave cracked open by about four or five inches. Unless she suddenly evolved thumbs and the ability to crank a window lever, she wasn’t going anywhere. I knew it. She knew it. And anyone with an ounce of common sense (or, to put it another way, anyone not employed by the State) would see it as well. She returned my look with a blank and uncomprehending stare.

It’s the same look I adopt when confronted with asinine bureaucracy.

As long as everything is legal, it’s not the government’s business what or who I have in my vehicle.

No pets! What bullshit. I am so weary of bureaucratic, government regulated insanity that I can barely spit.

The state-worker added, I suppose in response to my blank and uncomprehending stare, “If you have a leash, you can take him out of the vehicle and tie him up to a post outside, then you can return and do the test.” (Aside: Why is it that everyone inevitably assumes a dog is male?)

Great. What a wonderful idea. Here is a dog who is calm, happy, and sitting with her master in a secure and safely enclosed environment. Enter the State, who, because it Knows Better and is afraid of What Might Happen, wants me to remove my dog from that environment, tie her to a post; leave her there; get back into my truck and drive into a testing facility; then, after a few minutes, drive out of the facility, and around the block to the entrance of said facility where I can put my dog back into that safe and secure environment.

All of this to prevent the animal from becoming excited and panicking in a noisy, busy and scary place.

Did I mention the facility was deserted?

Put another way, my dipshit, chickenshit, know-it-all, Nanny-Government wants to prevent my dog from panicking by creating the precise conditions that will guarantee an extremely agitated, frightened, and panicked dog.

This is how government works. It seeks to prevent Something Bad by creating stupid, asinine, and invasive rules that inevitably result in Something Worse. Whether it’s a dumb emissions test, corporate bailouts, idiotic drug laws, or government-run health care, there is no area of our lives that government will not touch and thereby transform into a shit-sandwich (with nuts).

The whole situation was silly. I could have avoided it by leaving Reggie home, of course. But I’m tired of having to accommodate stupidity in the form of bureaucratic ass-covering, especially from my government. The reason I took Reggie was because I am an adult and in my adult opinion the inclusion of the dog was not a threat in any way to myself, others, or the State. These are the sorts of judgments one is supposed to make as an adult, and yet these judgments are being slowly superseded by a controlling, intrusive, and imbecilic bureaucracy at all levels of our lives.

I hate my government.

Of course, I left the emissions testing facility without a test. I’m thinking I might return next week with Reggie again. When they hassle me, I’ll tell them she’s my seeing-eye dog and threaten a lawsuit if they try to separate us. They’re so stupid, they might just believe me.

It’s dead

January 22nd, 2010

That’s what it really means when the President says he’ll “never stop fighting” for healthcare reform.

Hoo-Effing-Ray!

Like most politicians, Obama has a congenital inability to admit he was wrong. Vowing to “fight on” is the closest he’ll ever come to publicly saying he made a mistake. Cloaking his surrender in words of resolution is all he’s left with, because he knows damn-well that many in his party are now petrified with fear at an angry electorate and won’t imperil their cushy seats of power by supporting Obama-care in the future.

Trust me. It ain’t happening. Obama-care is dead.

How government helps you…

January 4th, 2010

..in a metaphorical video.

Atmospheric visualization

December 2nd, 2009

Here is a small graphic showing the relative amount of CO2 in the atmosphere.

Atmosphere and CO2

We surrender

November 24th, 2009

I just can’t do it anymore.

For the last few years, as the war in Iraq and Afghanistan has progressed, I’ve tried to adjust to the realities of war in a 24/7 news cycle, where every little action is scrutinized and subjected to legal investigations. Okay. Fine. Soldiers have to be cognizant of their actions, and the effect those actions may have on the larger goals and strategies, and the overall ability of the military to produce the desired result.

Yeah. I get it. We don’t need bad press.

But some things can be taken too far. Now our guys are being so micro-managed that several Navy Seals are being charged with assault for giving a vicious terrorist a bloody lip.

Ahmed Hashim Abed, whom the military code-named “Objective Amber,” told investigators he was punched by his captors — and he had the bloody lip to prove it.

Just how big a nation of pansies have we become that we would even take such matters seriously? We’ve bent ourselves into pretzels to protect the rights of the enemy for so long that we can’t even see the stupidity of our actions.

Some say we can’t hope to win if we don’t hold to the rule of law. To those people I say “Too late! By surrendering our common sense, we’ve already lost”.

Feh!

Teleprompter ruins Obama family dinner

November 18th, 2009

Here’s a story that, while perhaps not factually accurate, definitely possesses truthiness.

Now they’re just making stuff up

November 17th, 2009

Exclusive: Jobs ‘Saved or Created’ in Congressional Districts That Don’t Exist.

Here’s a stimulus success story: In Arizona’s 9th Congressional District, 30 jobs have been saved or created with just $761,420 in federal stimulus spending. At least that’s what the website set up by the Obama Administration to track the $787 billion stimulus says.

There’s one problem, though: There is no 9th Congressional District in Arizona; the state has only eight Congressional Districts.

There’s no 86th Congressional District in Arizona either, but the government’s recovery.gov Web site says $34 million in stimulus money has been spent there.

In fact, Recovery.gov lists hundreds of millions spent and hundreds of jobs created in Congressional districts that don’t exist.

Meanwhile, in D.C.

October 30th, 2009

I’ve been meaning to make some posts regarding politics, but to be honest, I find it hard to concentrate on such matters without flying into a sputtering, incoherent rage.

The best I can do before the fury takes hold is to say that I categorically, without qualification, and unreservedly hope that everything the current leadership attempts to accomplish spins out of control and explodes into a massive conflagration of FAIL.

More later (if and when I calm down).

The three branches of government

September 18th, 2009

The three branches of government

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